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Writer's Block: Dear God

Am I the only one for whom this god damn question keeps getting bumped?! It was first posted on February 24th, so why the hell does it keep getting moved up?! I didn't like the question the first time around. I certainly don't like it the 5th time around! WTF?!

Oh, and to save you the suspense... gods don't exists. Get a new fixation.
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

Writer's Block: Do Not Forget

Keys, cards (driver's license, concealed carry license, debit card), gun, cellphone, sunglasses.

And I never leave home without telling my husband I love him. =)
What do you never leave home without?

Writer's Block: Play Catch

We have 2 dogs, Trigger and Tesla. They would raid the refrigerator. =/ They know that's where the yummy food is. Meats, eggs, heavy cream, cheese, butter... They get that stuff for snacks but they would eat it ALL. 

Writer's Block: Tears of Joy

Tie. The day I became Mrs. Hutchison and the day Isaac returned from Iraq for the last time and I knew he was finally safe. =) 

Writer's Block: Vision Test

Absolutely not. To think otherwise is absurdly naive or perhaps just a failure to grasp what love is. 

Love is not just getting butterflies, missing someone when they're away, thinking about them all the time, doing nice things for them, smiling until your cheeks hurt and wanting to spend your life with them. Yes, all those things are a part of love and all those things can happen very, very quickly. Love is so, so much more than that though. 

How would you feel if they got horrible diarrhea in your bathroom? Told you the worst thing they've ever done (and had it be genuinely bad?) Will your feelings be the same if they're gone for a significant period of time? Would you give them access to your checking account and take out a joint credit card with them? Do you trust them enough to take out a life insurance policy with them as the sole benefactor and then let them have medical power of attorney over you? What if they have to live in a place you hate? Do you trust them with all your secrets? Your inner thoughts? Do you trust and respect them enough to not fake an orgasm? Would you let them know if you had hemorrhoids? Would you give them a kidney right now if they needed it? Are you sure you want this person to have 50% input in the raising of your future children? Are you going to stay with them if they can't have children? What about if they become disabled and need you to care for them? Are you willing to stick around through the rough years when the idea of something else seems more appealing? What are their answers to all these questions concerning you? Is it wise to fall for this person? Because yes, that matters. And, no, this is not an all inclusive list. 

I feel so lucky to have found love. =)
Do you believe in love at first sight?

Writer's Block: Dear God

Lol. Silly theists, deities are delusions.


Writer's Block: Human Nature

Our best quality, by far, is our ability to reason. Our worst would be our ability to completely and utterly ignore reason. =/ 

That's reason as a verb, not a noun. 
Think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic. To form conclusions, judgments, or inferances from facts or premises. The power of comprehending, inferring, or thinking especially in orderly rational ways.

With reason we understand the world closer to what it really is, not as we want it to be.
What is the best and worst quality about mankind?

Writer's Block: Weatherman’s Day

Insane. It's 9 in the morning and it's been snowing on and off all morning. 10 minutes ago it was snowing like mad and now it's clear and the super bright sunshine is quickly melting the accumulated snow. =/ I live in the Willamette Valley so we don't really get snow. Or sunshine very much for that matter. Anyway, here's a picture from my back deck. Sorry for the weird patch of color in the middle of the pic. It's a sun beam. Weird weather for a weird day.

What is the weather like right now?

Writer's Block: Friday the 13th

Do you believe in any superstitions?
I don't believe in superstitions but I will say that this Friday the 13th has sucked, sucked, sucked. Either I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or the entire fucking world has become irritating. Perhaps it's caffeine withdrawal. Perhaps it's that my glasses annoy the hell out of me and I don't feel myself when I'm forced to wear them all day.

Which brings me to the incident with my contacts yesterday. I've been using Air Optix Night & Day contacts for the past 5 months. New brand for me. The doctor tried to convince me there was no discernible difference between them and the Acuvue Oasys with Hydraclear Plus that I had been using... except that the Air Optix are double the price. Wrong, wrong, wrongo. The difference is... well, night and day. (Har, har) They are way more comfortable and seem to let a lot more air to my eye. That's important because I have increased blood vessel growth in my eyes (that's a bad thing) in response to years and years of daily contact use. For the record, I don't think that's anything anyone has to worry about nowadays... It seems that most all modern contacts are decent at letting air get through. I've been wearing contacts for almost 15 years though and the older ones really sucked at that. Anyway... Night & Days let the most air through to your eyes so, for the health of my eyes, I decided to try them and then was delighted to discover that they stay comfortable way longer than other brands. And no, I don't sleep in them. FDA approval or not, I don't think that's good for my eyes. Okay, on the the incident yesterday... My right contact was hurting so I took it out, put it in the palm of my hand, squirted solution all over it and gently rubbed it with my finger. Just like always when you want to get something off your contact. The freaking thing broke into pieces! WTF?! I have never, ever seen a contact do that! I mean... You have to stretch those things pretty far for them to break apart but this one just disintegrated in my hand! It was my last pair and it was only a week old, damnit. So, I'm out. I'm having 1-800-contacts overnight me some Acuvue Oasys until Air Optix can assure me that shit was a fluke and replaces it. *sigh* Those contacts cannot come fast enough. I feel weird in my glasses. They keep getting smudges and they're heavy and they don't stay on when I'm playing around with my dogs or Isaac. I don't mind wearing them for a few minutes at the beginning of the day or for an hour or so before I go to bed but... no. This is unacceptable.

My class schedule for this term didn't work out remotely like I wanted. I'm not happy about that.

My floors have near constant muddy paw prints on them and I'm waging a never ending war with sugar ants in my kitchen.

My backyard is fucked up due to already crappy grass and then my giant dogs. The whole thing needs major re-landscaping and it's stressing me out.

Nothing is happening with VA compensation so we're still broke. That constantly stresses me out.

Isaac's cousins are pissing me off by treating my in-laws like a god damn daycare.

I'm worried about auto-immune stuff.

Fuck, fuck, fuck everything.
There was a meatball incident a couple years ago when Isaac and I made spaghetti together. I, being my normal nitpicking self, weighed each meatball in exact grams and then passed them off to my frustrated, but amused, husband to be rolled into flawless spheres and arranged on the baking sheet in exact rows and columns. Isaac teased me, took a picture to post to facebook and he jokes about it to this very day. The spaghetti was fantastic and I was rather proud of myself. Fast forward to today... All my spaghetti since then has been with pre-made, store-bought meatballs. Why? Because the thought of making my own, even though they were tastier, was daunting. It's such a pain in the ass to agonize over every detail so I just didn't bother.

Let me stop right there to explain that a lot of things in my life are like that and it is a very, very bad way to operate. I don't like things messy, askew, half-done, rushed or in any way less than absolute peerless perfection. If I can't manage to accomplish that, or don't think I can given the time, situation, lack of planning... well then why bother? Better to wait and do it right! Except that "right" is so utterly fucking complicated, time-consuming and energy-intensive that "later" usually seems like way to go. Later... when I'm more prepared, don't have _____ going on, when I can better predict the outcome, when I know more, have everything I need, etc., etc., etc., on and on forever. Then I look around and, even though I had the very best of intentions, nothing is done. I've managed to spin my wheels and go nowhere.

Tonight I made Italian wedding soup and learned a very important lesson. I didn't have everything I needed, I was crunched for time, I had never made if before and didn't know how it would taste. But dinner had to be made and there were really not quick, easy, safe alternatives. I jumped in without contemplating it endlessly. I didn't have an exact recipe and I didn't measure anything anyway. The meatballs weren't  at all uniform but they managed to be ready to go into the oven by the time it preheated. The onions and carrots weren't precisely cut and were slightly varying sizes and shapes but I got done super fast. I had to go back and add more carrots, more garlic, more meatballs to make a good mix and taste. I made a mess in the kitchen but I managed to clean up a good bit of it as I went along cooking rather than focusing on just one thing at a time so I could "devote all my attention." It smelled awesome as it cooked and it tasted fantastic when it was done. The kitchen was partially clean by the time it was ready and I didn't spend hours making it. Instead I got to enjoy it with my family and play a game of Monopoly.

Perfection is not worth it. Messy can be lovely. It seems that life is inclined to be a bit of a mad dash with no real opportunity to get a sure footing before taking off. Even if I take off and fall on my face I'll be closer to where I'm going than if I were still stick on the starting line.